Anyway, here's the (rather long) quote :)
It wasn't that there was anything wrong with the tune of Beyonce's If I Were A Boy. The tune was nice. Very nice. Well done that woman who wrote it who wasn't Beyonce.Oh, here's a link to the 'worst songs' article if you're interested :).
But the words made us want to buy a bra, wear it until it became fashionable for men to wear bras and then burn that bra in protest and disgust at the ludicrously clichéd portrayal of men within its fake-empowerment verses.
Apparently, if Ms Knowles had danglier genitals, she would: "Roll out of bed in the morning / And throw on what I wanted / And go drink beer with the guys." That's not a boy, that's an unemployed alcoholic! She also imagines: "I would turn off my phone / Tell everyone its broken / So they think that I was sleeping alone."
Again, this isn't the natural behaviour of the Y chromosome. It's the behaviour of a dishonest, unfaithful git which, last time we checked, wasn't exclusive to either gender. What's so awful about If I Were A Boy is that no such man exists and no such relationship exists, except perhaps in beer commercials. The entire song is a lie and an insult to all complex, individual and free-thinking human beings.
Of course, the real lyrics should go something along the lines of: "If I were a boy / I'd pee standing up / Then I'd take my car to the garage / And be amazed that they didn't patronise me about the trouble I've been having with the clutch."
Now that's a song we'd want to hear.
1 comment:
If I were a boy / I'd pee standing up / Then I'd take my car to the garage / And be amazed that they didn't patronise me about the trouble I've been having with the clutch."
Brilliant! :)
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