Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Worst Songs Of The Year Article

I've just been reading about the best and worst songs of the year (according to this particular writer). Quite a few of the songs were ones I wouldn't expect to be on there as they seem to have been very popular despite my agreeing to their being crappy songs. For example - Katy Perry's 'I Kissed a Girl' which I kind of like although the lyrics are really stupid, it is unfortunately catchy. Also, 'So What' by Pink, this is also rather daft but it kept playing in the gym so I got used to it, again - catchy. But I decided to put the best part of the article (and most amusing) here on my blog as it is rather well written :P. I admit that I do like this song but I also agree with the writer's argument. I like the tune more than the lyrics. As with most of the secular music I listen to... Though I do like a good love song (sometimes hard to get in this day and age).

Anyway, here's the (rather long) quote :)
It wasn't that there was anything wrong with the tune of Beyonce's If I Were A Boy. The tune was nice. Very nice. Well done that woman who wrote it who wasn't Beyonce.

But the words made us want to buy a bra, wear it until it became fashionable for men to wear bras and then burn that bra in protest and disgust at the ludicrously clich├ęd portrayal of men within its fake-empowerment verses.

Apparently, if Ms Knowles had danglier genitals, she would: "Roll out of bed in the morning / And throw on what I wanted / And go drink beer with the guys." That's not a boy, that's an unemployed alcoholic! She also imagines: "I would turn off my phone / Tell everyone its broken / So they think that I was sleeping alone."

Again, this isn't the natural behaviour of the Y chromosome. It's the behaviour of a dishonest, unfaithful git which, last time we checked, wasn't exclusive to either gender. What's so awful about If I Were A Boy is that no such man exists and no such relationship exists, except perhaps in beer commercials. The entire song is a lie and an insult to all complex, individual and free-thinking human beings.

Of course, the real lyrics should go something along the lines of: "If I were a boy / I'd pee standing up / Then I'd take my car to the garage / And be amazed that they didn't patronise me about the trouble I've been having with the clutch."

Now that's a song we'd want to hear.
Oh, here's a link to the 'worst songs' article if you're interested :).

1 comment:

Jingle Bella said...

If I were a boy / I'd pee standing up / Then I'd take my car to the garage / And be amazed that they didn't patronise me about the trouble I've been having with the clutch."

Brilliant! :)